Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
