So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
