my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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