Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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