morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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