you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
