Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
