For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
