Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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