you win again, gameday.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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