Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
