if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
