what if every blade of grass was a penis?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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