i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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