i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Randomize
