addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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