I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I looked at my own cervix.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
