yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
