If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
