Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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