We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
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