Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
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