pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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