Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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