well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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