hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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