whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Terrible idea I love it
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
