i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize