how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just cut my nipple shaving
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
