moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
