Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
