i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize