This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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