never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
