we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
