You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
