Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
