I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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