is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
