Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
