I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
