you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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