Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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