don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize