I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize