Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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