just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
