hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize