Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
