Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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