why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
It's blow job season.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
