Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
