Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
In other news, I just burned my penis
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize