how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
