maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
a search helicopter?!
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
