why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
