Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
