you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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