I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
