Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
