So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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