The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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