But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
