theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
