how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
