he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
